The curse of the 20s.

Not everything is as it seems.

As you spend your early twenties trying to figure out who you are and where you want to go (if you haven’t already of course), social media can be a very toxic tool in deceiving you from your peers and your hold on reality when evaluating your growth in comparison to others.

You’ll get the odd few that when scrolling on your Instagram feed, you’ll come across X who’s backpacking around the world trying to find themselves and sense of belonging, X who’s always out enjoying the city life or X who’s in a relationship, new home, new job and seems to have life figured out. Either way, social media isn’t a friendly tool when you’re unsure of where you’re going. Not every moment is captured and I’m sure if people where honest when uploading on their platforms, everything wouldn’t be as glamorous or half as interesting.

You have to understand, social media is a game. EVERYONE, 9/10 is pretending to show they have it all or are living some kind of an alternate reality to what they actually are. It’s a game of ‘look how happy I am‘. None of which actually matters, nor really defines you.

Responsibilities and sense of direction 

Ah yes, the years of longing to be called an adult. Well, unfortunately – it’s not as fancy and lived up to as I imagined (combined with my height, on a good day I can pass for a 13-year-old).

Think of your 20s as the purgatory of your life. Finally can pass as an adult, you start to focus on what you want, where you kind of what to go, and prepare for it too. We declutter and organise our minds.

We put too much pressure on ourselves in our 20s, specifically our early 20’s as we think we have to have it all figured out. We think that because of our peers, surroundings, what we see and hear on TV etc, we have to know what life we want early in life for it to be attainable. The big house, fancy cars. It’s something we all want and hold as an epitome of happiness, something we are all working tirelessly to achieve.

We all try and measure what we’re doing wrong (myself specifically) when we’re not achieving these goals we set in our heads because it looks super easy when we look around to our peers, who seem to post these perfectly timed, angled and filtered images on social media – I want to be that happy and successful.

However, nobody tells you that with every struggle, rejection and adversity, is a step closer to figuring out what you ultimately want. The 20s are meant for exactly that, experimenting, struggling, bouncing back from a hard fall, as these all determine what kind of character you are going to be in your later life. It’s a working progress with one’s self. You have to truly love and allow yourself to make mistakes and not put pressure on yourself because you’re not achieving the same achievements that your friends and peers are reaching. Everyone has their own pace and own lane. Take your time. This is where slowly, you’ll start to find happiness. You’ll understand everyone’s journey is different, and that there is no correct route to happiness or success. It just starts with you.

Set yourself attainable goals and reward yourself for when you reach them. Slowly, what you’ve envisioned or set up for yourself will fall into place, as long as you give yourself time.

Your 20s are undoubtedly the hardest. But they are also the most rewarding. Conquering your 20s means allowing yourself to grow with time.

 

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